How can you tell if someone is masking?

Masking, sometimes called camouflaging, refers to efforts to hide or suppress autistic traits or other neurodivergent traits to fit in socially. It is not always visible to others, which is why it can be hard to identify from outside. Common descriptions include consciously rehearsing conversations, forcing eye contact that feels uncomfortable, suppressing stimming movements, mimicking others' facial expressions or tone, preparing scripts for social situations, or working hard to appear interested or at ease when feeling overwhelmed. Signs that someone might be masking can include appearing exhausted after social interaction, showing a marked difference between behavior in public versus at home, high anxiety around social performance, difficulty knowing their own preferences after long periods of copying others, or experiencing burnout. These behaviors can also occur for other reasons, such as social anxiety. Because you cannot know someone's internal experience from observation alone, the most respectful approach is not to assume, but to create safe, low-pressure environments and listen if they choose to share. If masking is causing distress, talking with a therapist who is experienced with neurodivergence can be helpful.