The colloquial phrase "she's defrosting" can carry either a literal or a metaphorical meaning depending entirely on the context of the conversation. Literally, it means a woman is currently thawing out frozen food items in her kitchen or melting ice off her car's windshield and windows. Metaphorically and in interpersonal slang, it means someone who has previously been acting cold, distant, unfriendly, or emotionally guarded is finally starting to warm up, smile, relax, and become friendly or approachable. You can verify the intended meaning by observing whether the speaker is discussing household chores or interpersonal social dynamics.
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